This entry was supposed to be due yesterday- March 11 yet I didn’t have the courage and the willpower until now. This was supposed to be a birthday gift for her- my dear aunt who,last November 6, 2011, after 9 months of fighting leukemia, succumbed into an eternal relationship with the One from Up Above. But I don’t think she’ll mind me being late with my blog- after all, it would be an everyday birthday for her in heaven.

Always laughing. That’s the first thing that comes in my mind whenever I think of my dear Auntie. When I was still very young, her family would often visit us in our hometown. Their visits were always the highlight of my childhood summer vacation. They’d come all the way from Batangas and live with us for a month or so. The house would be ecstatic. And my Aunt’s boisterous laugh and shrill voice would always be part of the ecstasy. She loved soap operas and showbiz gossips (ask her and she’ll tell you the latest about pinoy celebrities). She was always happy. She may seem mad when she scolds my cousin (her eldest son) but after that, she’s all but smiling and talking. She may had problems but she never worries- a characteristic that I admire greatly about her. She was always positive- always on the brighter side of things.

When she was diagnosed with leukemia over a year ago, she opted out having chemotherapy due to financial reasons attributing to the fact that there’s a slim chance of being cancer- free with the type of leukemia she had. But she never gave up. She fought the disease in a more natural way. She consulted a Chinese doctor and was given a form of Chinese medicine. She also took some dietary supplements and had a strict diet of fish, veges and fruits. We had the chance to visit her during the course of her disease and was shocked to see a house full of green leafy vegetables! In fact, when she was diagnosed with the disease, her doctor gave her 7 mos to live but she lived 3 more months!

The last time I saw my Aunt was when she went home September of last year. Actually that was the last time my family saw her since it was November of the same year that she passed away. We had a small reunion at a nice resort in our hometown. The whole family was there and for us, it wasn’t a farewell get together. It was something even more..perhaps her advance birthday celebration?

Happy birthday Auntie BB! You will always be missed…

This entry was supposed to be due yesterday- March 11 yet I didn’t have the courage and the willpower until now. This was supposed to be a birthday gift for her- my dear aunt who,last November 6, 2011, after 9 months of fighting leukemia, succumbed into an eternal relationship with the One from Up Above. But I don’t think she’ll mind me being late with my blog- after all, it would be an everyday birthday for her in heaven.

Always laughing. That’s the first thing that comes in my mind whenever I think of my dear Auntie. When I was still very young, her family would often visit us in our hometown. Their visits were always the highlight of my childhood summer vacation. They’d come all the way from Batangas and live with us for a month or so. The house would be ecstatic. And my Aunt’s boisterous laugh and shrill voice would always be part of the ecstasy. She loved soap operas and showbiz gossips (ask her and she’ll tell you the latest about pinoy celebrities). She was always happy. She may seem mad when she scolds my cousin (her eldest son) but after that, she’s all but smiling and talking. She may had problems but she never worries- a characteristic that I admire greatly about her. She was always positive- always on the brighter side of things.

When she was diagnosed with leukemia over a year ago, she opted out having chemotherapy due to financial reasons attributing to the fact that there’s a slim chance of being cancer- free with the type of leukemia she had. But she never gave up. She fought the disease in a more natural way. She consulted a Chinese doctor and was given a form of Chinese medicine. She also took some dietary supplements and had a strict diet of fish, veges and fruits. We had the chance to visit her during the course of her disease and was shocked to see a house full of green leafy vegetables! In fact, when she was diagnosed with the disease, her doctor gave her 7 mos to live but she lived 3 more months!

The last time I saw my Aunt was when she went home September of last year. Actually that was the last time my family saw her since it was November of the same year that she passed away. We had a small reunion at a nice resort in our hometown. The whole family was there and for us, it wasn’t a farewell get together. It was something even more..perhaps her advance birthday celebration?

Happy birthday Auntie BB! You will always be missed…

Way back high school, there was a time when reading tagalog romance novels was “in” (yes there was believe it or not!). We’d often borrow these 120 page booklets from a bookshop near our school- 5 pesos per book as I can remember. During the craze, we’d often read these books during classes while the teacher is busy doing her job imparting knowledge to us (so she thought!). Yes, we were learning. Not from her, but from these thin novelettes. We learned a lot actually- since the theme of these novels were all circumvented to the idea of love and its idiosyncrasies, we thought we knew love. We knew ways how two people find each other, how their love is tested and how they end up happily ever after. In high school, I thought we knew love was that simple- finding, being tested and winning.

College came and we’ve outgrown these tagalog romance novels yet the idea of finding and winning love is still fresh and unscathed. I had my first boyfriend during my freshman year and it was exhilarating! Love was such a nice experience. It was simple and pure. We’ve had our ups and downs but we were winning. Yet, 4 years passed and things didn’t turn out the way it should be. We lost. We didn’t find our happily ever after. Then came another relationship. It was nice and it was better. It was love and it was full of potential. But then we’ve lost it again. Relationships after relationships followed and I was still losing. I figured, this isn’t the love I thought was 7 years ago. How come I was always losing? How come it was now full of crap and pretenses? How did love become too complex that I myself could not define it anymore? Does it still exist? Does it still have a name?

Yes.

Crap and I don’t care.